THE CINQUE PORTS, MARGATE. Can it wrap or is it crap? Thats wrap, not rap. Apparently thats what they do, but they dont just do wraps, or raps, oh crap!
Have you been in the Cinque ports on Margate seafront? You should, it is excellent.
This was its former guise and had been for years.
I knew the ex landlady, she would tell me about my great grandad who had died before I was born, that he was a famous paper seller on the steps of Dreamland that would yell "orrible murders" to drum up trade, and then spend his money in the pub after.
Exposed brick and beams, crumbled plaster and neon lights...
I believe they had a concession to sell street food in Dreamland and took the chance to take this on.
I drive by the Cinque ports and I think The Punch and Judy.
I was one of those 2am late venues with sticky carpets and thick smokey air. Obviously pre Tinder, where boys and girls sloppily got off with each other, and 01:50 was grab a granny....but this was the 90's... Oh take me back!
It was also a place which was packed full of the coach loads of east end Londoners, this was when everyone from London was a gangster or a dealer (apparently). These hooligans were immortalised by the classic Only Fools and Horses Jolly Boys Outing.
This was the status quo until wetherspoons opened down the road, that's when things started changing in Margate and for The Punch and Judy. Couple that with late night alcohol licences being granted to any pub that wanted one essentially wiped out the night club/late night venue scene on Margate seafront.
The reimagination of The Cinque Ports.
Before it was called The Punch and Judy, it was the Cinque ports pub.
Is this the Cinque ports as he knew it? Definitely not, but as a living relative I can say there are no orrible murders going on here.
Every smoke soaked fibre of the old Punch and Judy has been ripped out, and started again, but rather than re-board and plaster, paint and polish, it has been brilliantly remodelled celebrating every imperfection, it is beautiful.
I am not clear how this works, who owns it, who runs it, but I do know that the kitchen food is created by a company known as The International Wrap Artists.
Blimey it's good, It's an amazing food pub.
I'm talking next level.
I found this out by chance simply because we thought we would pop in, it was a summers day, the doors and windows were wide open, it called to me..
The bar is huge. It's stocked with all the new beers and ciders, IPA'S from Peckham to Paris and New York.
Its one of those bars that there is a lot to take in, I don't recall seeing any beer brands you would see normally like Stella, Carlsberg etc maybe that's why there aren't any football top, loud mouths in here, it's out of their comfort zone.
But it's expensive right?
Well kind of. Pints start about £5.50. There are more expensive places, and cheaper, but this really is a nice place, like really nice.
We settled down, the position was perfect, we took in the famous Margate sea air and the beer slipped down a treat.
I'm staying....
Let's look at the menu. It's the afternoon, we're not sure what we are doing about food later yet, so my eyes were drawn to the small plates to share, and they were reasonably priced. The theme was a South American/Mexican vibe, the food read like a centre fold out of my playboy magazine.
My eyes are on stalks
The food looks familiar territory, but this isn't just offering things you knew, it's turning up the heat.
Let's go in first for the one dish that's always a crowd pleaser sharing plate.. Nachos.
I've lost count of the amount of times I've ordered nachos in a variety of places, it's kind of like the dish that you can't get wrong, but when it's right it's banging. I opted to try the spicy wings with a pineapple salsa as well... Let's see what comes out...
OMG.
It's amazing. Like OMG amazing. I've never seen nachos like these, I've never tasted nachos like these. The variety of flavours, textures, freshness... Every mouthful was a sensation. I move to the chicken wings and they are plump, moist, amazing flavour combinations. I would have licked the plate but that's a hard line for my Mrs.
I resort to dabbing up the crumbs with my finger when she's not watching.
Since I wrote this, I visited again, I had exactly the same, but had the Dr Dresadillas as well, seriously good.
How much do you pay for those plates of perfection? Less than what you will have paid elsewhere, I guarantee you. More than wetherspoons, but it's insulting to compare, one is night, the other is day.
You can eat in the bar and restaurant service is in the raised area to the rear, which has views into the kitchen, with the gantry lights facing you, so you see them making the final touches to the food.
We came again with friends in November 22, to eat and really enjoy this gem.
It is such a funky place, I was pleased to see it was fairly busy, but not with the old Punch and Judy pub clientele, it's really found it's niche.
The atmosphere is staged by some really cool hop hip/rap music, the lights are lowered. It's just perfect.
It is a triumph of originality and standards. They call it eats with beats.
There is a but....
We booked for 1830 to eat in the restaurant, when we booked using their online service it said we would have to vacate the table by a certain time, presumably for the next booking.
When we arrived we easily found seats for 4 in the window but it was cold. It's November now, there's an energy crisis so that's not a grumble, we all understand this is what needs to happen now. We asked if we could have our table early, hopefully it would be warmer nearer the kitchen.
The staff were really accommodating. Much better.
We had a fantastic meal. At one point the restaurant area was almost full. It's so good to see so many people enjoying this place as well.
The time approached our "we gotta move time" and other people were finishing and leaving, but we were in no rush, we was enjoying it! The time went by and in the end we forgot about having to move on, we ordered more drinks. It's now just about 9pm and they are closing down the restaurant!
We are the only people up here! Wheres the next wave of bookings?
We decide to go to the bar area, and it's a similar story, only a few pockets of people, where is everyone?
Why is it not transforming into a late night venue?
Why isn't the music getting a bit louder, the lights lowered?
They are actually trying to close, what the....!
I can only liken it to being in front of an open goal, it's the last seconds of the match, all you have to do is tap the ball over the line and you score the winner, but instead you kick the ball backwards to your own goal and kick it in your own net.
They are just giving money to their competition.
In its previous life as The Punch and Judy would be packed by now, with a dozen door staff and queues just to get in!
Yes times are different, but aside from a banging Mexican street food restaurant, Margate is also crying out for a quality late night venue, and it seems to be that fat slice of the cake they (owner/managers) either can't eat because they are full, or don't want because of they don't like cake.
But why create the perfect storm if you don't want to see the lightening?
I'm left looking over my shoulders as we trudge off looking for atmosphere somewhere else thinking, really????
This is an amazing place to go, enjoy, eat, drink, be happy.
It is a destination, a place to go rather than somewhere to pop in. I have to wonder why they seem to be closed so often, why they stop short.
Do they just open when they feel like it? Is it because it is actually The IWA that run the whole place, and when they stop serving food they lose interest? And does their signage International Wrap Artists have any relevance to what they do or who they are anymore, does it present the wrong signal and image?
Or are they simply happy doing what they do, when they want to?
I don't have those answers, but I now know that there is only one place in Margate to go to for incredible Mexican street style food, I challenge you to try it and tell me I'm wrong.
HOT OFF THE PRESS! LOOK AT THIS TWEET👀👀👀 LATE NIGHT VENUE IN BOUND.👀👀👀
How does the Cinque Ports score?
1) Is it to the expected standard? Yes, But in an unexpected way. Is it a bar or a street food vendor? The food and drinks certainly meet your hopes and expectations and is easily worthy of ONE STAR.
2) Does it do something that you have always wanted to try? The range of craft drinks, and colourful and delicious food means I will work through the menu. Happily. ONE STAR
3) Is it fairly priced? Its more lighter bite/street food than meals, so its prices reflect. The quality is there to warrant ONE STAR
4) Cleanliness, including customer toilets. I cant fault it ONE STAR
5) Service. The service was appropriate for their model, thats not to say it wasn't excellent, it was. ONE STAR
A) Does it have a clear and relevant identity? No, Despite my appreciation of the place, and there is no where around here like it, Its IWA branding is akin to facial tattoos, no one really gets it.
B) Does it stand out for quality and standards? Yes the quality of the products and service is excellent, and consistent.
C) Is there areas of the business that someone else does better? Hard to say when there is no comparable, apart from tap into the late night venue market.
D) Does it diversify? This is an area I am still bemused by. They seem to switch off when the kitchen does.
E) Will customers return without hesitation? Yes, maybe the style and food is not for everyone, thats a matter of preference. A cracking asset.
A SENSATIONAL 5 STARS. TAKE A BOW!
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