Margates piazza is a hot-spot for visitors looking for something to eat.
A prime sea facing terrace, if you are in hospitality this is where you need to be for maximum foot traffic.
I have kept my eye on this place for ages now.
Its new, and that usally means exciting..
The renovation has taken so long, I was quietly hoping it was going to be featured on Grand Designs or something, but now its open I immediately realised that my hopes were just fanciful.
Now I'm standing in front of it I am put off from going in... and here is why....
Boy oh boy, where do I begin. It's got the look of a business trying to look like something they are not, and doing it badly.
The signage holds a kind of reference to its location being "Ocean Lounge" (even though its the North Sea) and it says Restaurant and Bar.
So at the very least it is a comfy lounge style restaurant and bar? Nice! Er.... NO!
It has adorned it's exterior walls with images of food and cocktails, they are clearly stock images.
It's a massive red flag.
I guess my biggest problem is that it's trying to be everything, but appealing to no one. It's presenting itself as something it's not. There's a modern term for that:
It's catfishing, and totally unashamed of the fact.
INFORMAL•US
the process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.
"he was a victim of catfishing himself"
It's like turning up for a date with a stick on joke mustache and trying to pretend it's real.
Random boards propped against the wall promoting the specials, burgers from £1.99, a beef steak with fries marked special with no price given (alarm bells ring when it's just called beef steak), fish and chips and...
a sign saying it has "the best chips in town"...
Now there's a claim given Petes Fish Factory, the busiest chippy in town is its neighbour...
But no one is putting their head in The Ocean Lounge..
What's putting off the customers?
If it's not already obvious I will explain.
It has an image problem. It doesn't know what it is.
It has undergone extensive renovation from the old Ruby Lounge, to the The Ocean Lounge, and I'm not sure what they wanted to achieve.
The owners must be flabbergasted why their cafe, cocktail bar, restaurant, isn't pulling people in.
I must admit I had never been in the Ruby Lounge, but there remains a stained glass window with leaded writing saying Ruby lounge is a sign it was once something quite elaborate.
This is far from elaborate
It kind of feels like being in a canteen, it's cold, echoey, it kind of looks like a canteen but they thrown a bit of wall art and some down lighters at it.
It's attempting the little touches, but it feels like an undertakers waiting room.
It's got a bit of styling to it. In fact this picture really makes it look, well stylish.
I wonder if I'm over thinking it, imagine if the tables were full and it had a warmth from the humm of voices and a bit of atmosphere, would I have a different impression?
So how can a place like this be so dull?
Oh I've forgotten the best bit, the welcome!
As we looked through the door there was almost a gasp, not from us but the waitress who suddenly sprang into life and trotted over to us.
"will you be eating?" she asked... She's a bit flustered... Well, we've not seen a menu yet so no idea what we are getting ourselves into but we say yes... "follow me" she says and she rockets off like Richard O'brian on the Crystal Maze.
There is no one else in here... She stops in the middle of the room and says "is this alright" we shrug, say yeah and she slaps 2 menus down and dashes off again.
We take our seats and check out the menu, there's loads on there, and it's all really cheap, almost to the point where I'm wondering what I am going to get for my money...
I spend a silly amount of time trying to work out what is a safe bet.
We order drinks, and they arrive separately, so beer first, 5 mins later the glass of wine.. I'm not trying to judge but its amusing me now..
They literally have burgers starting from £1.99 all the way to £9.00.
There are options other than burgers served with lots of ingredients like mash, veg, salad and I know it sounds ridiculous, but judging by the fact its 2pm on a Sunday afternoon in a prime spot in Margate and we are the only ones in here, I'm not taking my chances.
I'm playing safe... Well the Mrs went for the cod, chips and mushy peas, I instinctively went for the brunch burger.
I didn't realise that this didn't come with chips, the waitress pointed that out and for the sake of a couple of quid (might have been £2.75 actually) I added those.
Whilst not essential, its often important to create an atmosphere with some good music.
They are going beach theme with the name, so think beach, warm, fun, dance, chill... Now we are getting there....
What have they gone with?
Classic 90's FM. So I've had a bit of Rick Ashley, Aerosmith and Meatloaf, mixed in with the cheesiest linking adverts straight out of smashy and nicies playbook.
We sat back and chuckled at the radio station, and watched the waitress standing in the doorway almost as if she was told to drag people in queuing for Petes Fish Factory.
She had nothing to lose in trying I suppose.
My burger came first, sorry no pics of our food, I don't like to make it obvious that I'm going to write about my food, especially as it was hardly a master piece, but it had a beef patty, hash brown, fried egg, bit of bacon I think as well.
It was in a nice shiny brioche bun and a bit of iceburg lettuce garnish.. And my separate bowl of chips.
I waited patiently for my wife's to come, and I waited... "might as well start" she said.. 5 mins later hers came out, and you know what? I was actually surprised! A decent sized, perfectly golden fresh piece of battered cod, with chips and a bowl of mushy peas! That was £9.95 by the way.
Back to my burger. The patty was strangely squeaky. I think they would say its fresh from frozen?
Clearly the egg had been cooked on the dirty hotplate, it was black, oily and cremated... There's no admiring a runny yolk on this one, but you know what it all tasted okay.
I merrily chomped through my burger, but the chips...
I wouldn't have a problem if I didn't see the sign saying the best chips in Margate.
A bold statement like that needs a fair set of balls, especially when you are serving basic catering frozen chunky chips.
There's no denying it, no fresh potatoes were cut here to make these.
Get rid of the sign, you are fooling no one... But again I had a chuckle at their expense!
The Mrs enjoyed her fish.. We heard a voice from the kitchen, then a patter of footsteps... "is the food alright?" the waitress asked, we nodded and smiled as we had our mouths full.. She pattered off again... "they said they liked it.." she half wispered back to the kitchen... I sniggered again...
I'm not a snob, I'm not rolling my eyes at the calamity, it's just funny.
I just about finished everything, the Mrs left a fair few chips, simply because she was full, the portions were good.
It's empty, but so is my plate!
There's no reason to stay longer, I'm definitely not taking them up on their cocktail offer...
but I would come back...
That's right, I would definitely come back when we have the kids with us.
The prices are so reasonable that you could feed them all in relative comfort for probably less than a Mcdonald's, and you get to have a beer at the same time.
It's cheap, it's not very cheerful, but it's cheap
It's not a bar, it has a service station.
So it says Lounge, Restaurant, Bar but really its none of those things...
It's a goldie lookin chain.
Pretty much a greasy spoon cafe trying to look like a Pitcher and Piano.
(pic is of a Pitcher and Piano, not The Ocean Lounge)
Bring the kids for a cheap meal, it's could be cheaper than Mcdonald's and you can get a glass of wine.
HOW DOES IT SCORE
1) Is it to the expected standard? No, it massively falls short. Its position is ideal, its concept is plausible, its just not good at all. The food was average at best. NO STAR
2) Does it do something that you have always wanted to try? No, the menu is trying to offer every imaginable burger flavour combination, I imagine they expected people to be raving about them, and returning to try every one.. Its never going to happen. NO STAR
3) Is it fairly priced? Yes this is its redeeming point, its not going to break the bank. ONE STAR
4) Cleanliness, including customer toilets. I never saw the toilet on this visit so I cant comment, but our menu had food splatters over it. Im reluctant to give a star but on the whole it appears clean, so ONE STAR.
5) Service. Despite the gap in bringing out 2 drinks together, and then the food, the fact that there was an element of service means I still have to give ONE STAR.
CONTRIBUTING EVIDENCE
A) Does it have a clear and relevant identity? No in fact this is its main problem.
B) Does it stand out for quality and standards? This is an attempt to make a fast food greasy spoon look good. Unfortunately the food is average at best in comparison to other greasy spoons.
C) Is there areas of the business that someone else does better? In every area of its existence it fails.
D) Does it diversify? This is maybe its saving grace, but I cant know its sales figures. The fact it provides an online ordering service means it should pinch a few extra sales here and there.
E) Will customers return without hesitation? I cant see why, apart from being in a convenient spot to put some junk food in the kids bellies for not alot of money. That said, there is a brilliant fish n chip shop next door which is very cheap, and serves this area well enough, so its only point of benefit is probably a guaranteed table, and get a beer while you wait.
3 STARS FOR THE OCEAN LOUNGE BECAUSE IT IS CLEAN, HAS AN ELEMENT OF SERVICE AND CHEAP.
THE OWNERS REALLY HAVE TO QUESTION WHAT THEY ARE DOING GIVEN THEIR PRIME POSITION.
You can view their website and order online for home delivery OCEAN LOUNGE WEBSITE
6 The Parade, Margate CT9 1EZ
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